being present

I'm not great at being present. I'm either angry or sad about the past or worried about the future or inside my body that is wrecked with pain.There are moments here and there when I am surrounded by my family that I am in the moment, whisked away by my son's giggly laughter, or my partner's deep brown eyes.  I am the most present when I am near the sea. The ebbing and flowing of the tide partnered with waves crashing lulls me to the now. It's the only time I don't have to think about it.

I have had doctors, therapists, even surgeons suggest meditation or yoga to help relieve my body of the stress it holds. I've shaken them off and even tried yoga, but as a former competitive athlete, I was bound by my own limits and competing for better poses with those around me in the class who most certainly were not competing back.  That was years ago.

My lung was punctured two months ago during a routing procedure and I've been sidelined since, full of worry and sickness... full of yesteryear and tomorrow year( if that's a word).

I decided to give yoga a try again, with the commitment to self that I would be in the present.  I am on week one day four and I am finding tremendous peace. I am not present for every moment in every class, but I am present for some moments and the need to be present for my body makes it a bit easier to be present for my mind.  We'll see how it goes, but so far I'm finding peace in the postures.

Namaste.